The Life Line of a Quiet Phone Call

One thing, that might seem strange, but for the longest time I have been holding on to this life line.  And I still do.  It is a phone call to my mom.  Not an actual one, just one that plays in my mind in those moments when I just want to give up, or I feel like I don't have strength to just do whatever it is I am doing.  It normally starts with me calling her and telling that I just can't do it anymore, I am tired and feel like I am not up for the task at hand. Her reply is always calm, "Why do you feel that way?"  I then tell her the reasons that I feel at that moment. For example, like right now, I am tired and I don't feel like I can't be up with Ethan for the 3rd night in a row.  That I don't know if I should let him cry or if I should rock him back to sleep.  Sometimes I cry with the conversations, while other times, I try to be brave.  My mom just takes a deep breath and says, " Emily, you can do this.  You are fantastic and this too will pass." And so she is right.

Now, I am pretty sure that she has no idea that I have this phone conversation with her.  Actually I am pretty sure no one knows.  But being awake right now, fearful of going back to bed because I am sure that Ethan will cry again, I find myself talking to her, and seeking out that comfort that I so need right now.

It has saved more in so many situations.  College, my mission, marriage, moving to Rhode Island, anything where I get to the end of my rope, and realize that I need more to hold on to.

I am grateful that my Father in Heaven has given me this small, but most precious, tender mercy of a life line.  I know that in many ways it is the still small voice of the Holy Ghost impressing on my mind and spirit that comfort that comes from a mom who knows.

I am hoping that I can now, quietly go back to bed, KNOWING that Ethan will arise in a few short hours with crying, but taking a deep breath and knowing that I can do just one more night, and another, if needs be, for this too shall pass.

Sleep well-